


Eat Me

by Draycevixen



Series: Gean-Jeanie [2]
Category: Life on Mars (UK)
Genre: Crack, F/F, F/M, Genderswap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-11
Updated: 2011-03-11
Packaged: 2017-10-15 18:35:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/163697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Draycevixen/pseuds/Draycevixen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The continuing adventures of Jeanie Hunt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Eat Me

.

“Look at the tits on her!”

“Shut it Carling.” Sam spoke automatically, before he could even drag his eyes away from the file in front of him.

“’M sorry, but Ray’s right boss. You’ve got to see this one. She’s lovely.”

Sam finally looked up at Chris, who was staring open mouthed toward the doors of CID. Gene was standing in the half open door, talking to Phyllis. He was wearing the same outfit from the night before, but with a green handbag slung over his shoulder.

Every man in the room was sitting up straighter and sucking their guts in.

“Forget it Chris. Woman like that would crush a boy like you... Might be worth it at that though.” Ray straightened his tie.

Sam stood up. “Whatever you’re thinking Ray, forget it.”

“Sorry boss. I saw her first.”

Gene turned from Phyllis and strode toward Sam, letting the door slam behind him.

He stopped suddenly to glare in the direction of a lone wolf whistle, quickly silenced. _Wonder if any of them could describe me face? How do the plonks stand it?_

Ray leapt to his feet with a speed Gene had never seen him manage before, moving round his desk to step directly into Gene’s path.

“An’ who are you, gorgeous?”

“Out of me way, Carling.”

Ray moved in closer. “You know me name, I’m right flattered.”

“Don’t be. I’m looking for Tyler.”

Ray reached out and closed his hand lightly around Gene’s forearm. “Give us a kiss luv, an’ I’ll change your mind about who you’re looking for.”

“No.” Gene pulled Ray’s thumb back hard and Ray had to let go.

Ray dropped his hand to Gene’s hip instead.

“You don’t really mean ‘no’ now, do you luv?”

Ray pinched Gene’s hip.

“You’re right, Carling.” Gene raised his hands to Ray’s shoulders and smiled up at him. “I _really_ meant to say ‘no, you sad tosser, and if you don’t take your hand off me you’ll be singing soprano for life.’”

Gene’s knee came up so hard and fast into Ray’s groin that every man in the room folded in half in sheer sympathy. Ray hit the floor in the foetal position.

Gene stepped carelessly over Ray to stand in front of Sam’s desk.

“Tyler, outside now!”

Gene turned around, stepped back over Ray and stormed out. There was a collective groan as he cleared the doors.

“You OK, Ray? Need an ambulance?”

“Nah… Boss… Just need… me… wind… back… I… think…”

“If only you _would_ think Ray, just once.”

“I think… I’m… in… love… boss!”

“Forget it, Ray. Put her out of your mind.”

“I’d like to put her on me…”

“Shut it! That’s Ge… Jeanie, the Guv’s… sister and I’ll not hear you talk that way about hi… her.”

 

***

Gene was striding impatiently up and down the corridor when Sam emerged from CID. Gene caught hold of him and slammed him up against the wall, leaning in closer to make up for his lack of body weight.

A passing PC stopped to stare at them. Gene glared back. The PC hurried on.

 _Handling this badly. What must this look like? Should apologize to the lad_. “Keep forgetting I’ve got breasts.” _Close enough_. Gene let go of Sam and stepped back.

“Next time stay in character and just hit me with your handbag.”

“Not unless I locate a few bricks to stuff in it first. Bloody thing! How’d they keep it on their shoulder without dislocating something?”

“Damned if I know.”

“Had to have somewhere to put me fags and keys.”

“Your trousers don’t have pockets?”

 _When I put stuff in them it makes me arse look big. Bugger!_ “Pockets aren’t big enough... But enough about fashion, Gladys. I need to be here, to know what’s going on. So what are we going to do about it?”

“Look Guv, you saw the way Ray reacted. Unless you want to tell all of them what’s going on, I don’t...”

“Not going to happen. Ever.”

“Then go and wait for me in Lost and Found. I need to check that Ray can still breathe with his nuts in his throat and sort out the rest of the team. Then I’ll bring you some of the Harris files and we can talk about what’s going on, alright?”

“No, it bloody well isn’t!”

“Well right now Guv I don’t see where you’ve got much choice.”

“We could tell them I’m on loan from Hyde.” _Hyde would have bird detectives, right? Strange enough place, look at Tyler. Though Cartwright’s smart enough to be a DC. There’s an idea…_

“I already told them you’re Gene’s sister. _Your sister_.”

“You what?”

“I had to head off Ray before he proposed marriage.”

“Ray wants to marry you? Want me to give you away Gladys? You’re not going to wear white are you?”

“You Guv. He wants to marry _you_. Funny, never had him down as a masochist.”

“So you had to tell him I’m me own sister. Freud would have a bloody field day.”

“Jeanie Hunt. Seemed the simplest way to handle things. No one in their right mind wants to mess with your sister.”

 _Lucky you’re not in your right mind, Tyler. Where the hell did that come from?_

“Go to Lost and Found, Guv. I’ll be there once I get it all sorted out. Forty-five minutes, maybe an hour.”

***

Gene had been waiting fifteen minutes by his reckoning, smoking for thirteen of those minutes, when the door opened and Annie walked in.

“Oh excuse me Miss—?” Annie smiled and walked further into the room.

 _Bugger! She don’t usually smile at me like that._ “Gene, er Jeanie. Jeanie Hunt. Sorry, I’m a little nervous.”

“S’alright. Most people are in a police station. So Miss Hunt, you a witness?”

“No, I’m waiting for Tyle… Sam. Tyler.”

“Are you now?” Annie’s eyes narrowed and her tone sharpened.

 _Thought so. No need to ruin it for the lad_. “I’m picking something up for me brother.”

“Brother?”

Gene could see the moment the answer dawned on her. _Smart girl, Cartwright_.

“You’re the Guv’s sister? Didn’t even know he had a sister but now I look at you who else could you be?”

“We’re a good looking family.”

Annie laughed. “You _certainly_ are.”

She leaned on the table next to Gene, invading his space.

 _Now this is interesting._

“You’ve got the same beautiful eyes. Never seen eyes like that on anyone but your brother before.” She slid one finger lightly across his cheekbone. “And the same gorgeous hair.” She tugged lightly at the collar length ends. “You should grow it out. It’d be beautiful, so glossy and thick.”

Annie was leaning in so closely that Gene could smell her perfume.

 _Don’t stare at her tits_. Of course the moment the thought crossed his mind his eyes dropped. As he forced his eyes back up again he realized Annie was in turn staring at his breasts. She ran one finger lightly across his shoulder.

“Of course you have some stunning _characteristics_ all of your own, Jeanie. Wish I could get away without a bra.”

Annie smoothed her hands down to her waistline, pulling the material of her uniform blouse taut across her breasts.

“I haven’t introduced myself. I’m Annie Cartwright, WPC.”

She put out her hand and Gene followed suit. He noticed that she wasn’t in a big hurry to let his hand go, squeezing it gently before releasing it.

 _Cartwright’s never flirted with me, but Jeanie interests her?_

“Look I ducked in here because I noticed a ladder in me tights.” Annie produced a small bottle of nail varnish from her pocket. “Could you do me a favour?”

Annie turned her back to Gene and raised her skirt, leaning on the table. There was indeed a ladder in her tights, stretching from mid-knee up her right thigh. Gene’s eyes tracked further up her leg to where high cut red knickers were clearly visible under her tights. It took Gene a few minutes to realize that the odd sensation he was feeling low in his stomach was arousal. _No wonder women are so bloody confusing. How’d they know if that’s lust or indigestion?_

“I’ll be glad to help you with your problem, PC Cartwright.”

Gene ran one hand up the back of her leg, teasing over the nylon.

“Call me Annie,” she breathed.

Gene ran his hand up further, stopping at the top of her leg, spreading his fingers.

“Why stop there?” Annie took his hand and moved it up on to her arse.

***

“I’m sorry Guv, I had to get the—”

Sam stopped dead as he came face to face with the sight of Annie leaning back against the table, her shirt gaping open with her bra pushed down under her breasts. An even more riveting sight was Gene’s head between her splayed thighs where her tights had been ripped open at the crotch and her knickers pushed aside. Her head snapped down to lock eyes with Sam as she came, screaming Jeanie’s name.

Gene scrambled to his feet, casually wiping his mouth off on his sleeve.

Annie didn’t move, just smiled at Gene and Sam. “Wanna play, Sam?”

Sam dropped the Harris files on the floor, turned, locked the door and moved deliberately across the room towards them, pulling at his belt buckle.

“Is that a yes then?”

Sam nodded, pulling his belt open and reaching for the button on his jeans.

“Cat got your tongue Sam?” Annie smiled. “You must have made a big impression on him, Jeanie.”

 _If he keeps moving toward me I’ll make an impression with him by bouncing him off that wall_.

Annie pulled Gene in close and kissed him. Sam moved in behind Gene, pressing against his back and running one hand around Gene’s waist to lie flat against his stomach. He could feel the heat of Sam’s palm through his shirt. Sam’s hand started moving upwards.

 _Not having this!_ Gene broke the kiss and slammed backwards with his hips, causing Sam to have to back up or risk injury. _Christ, he could cut glass with that thing!_ Gene looked backward and forward between Annie and Sam. _Stop thinking about Tyler’s cock_. Gene’s eyes instinctively dropped to Sam’s obvious erection that his skin tight jeans did little to hide, particularly with his flies still half undone. _Does he go commando? Do birds always think this much about underwear?_

Sam had obviously seen where Gene was looking as he started slowly moving toward him again.

 _Not a bird. I’m the Gene Genie. Look at Annie!_

Annie stepped in close to Sam, running one hand firmly over his arse, before easing back. Sam jumped, like he’d forgotten she was there for a minute.

“Sam, I think Jeanie may need a little more convincing.”

Sam took another step towards Gene.

“I don’t need anything from you, Tyler.” Gene picked up his handbag as Sam ground to a halt. “I’ll just leave the two of you alone. Have fun.”

Gene fled the room. He didn’t want to think of it as fleeing, but facts were facts.

.


End file.
